Captain James T. Kirk. For many years he's reigned supreme aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, dueling with Klingons and cruising the galaxy for chicks in his own inimitable way (in case you're wondering, he's currently trapped inside a temporal nexus where he's forced to narrate reality-based television shows). Sure, he's had his disagreements with his crew over the years, but didn't you ever wonder what would happen if Mr. Scott or Dr. McCoy just let loose and popped him one? Now's your chance to find out!

I'll wager 50 quatloos on the newcomer...